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Horsham – home and start on the 23rd  July 2001-11-18


Portsmouth – blagged free ferry ticket to Caen courtesy of Miss. Hope and her side kick Richard (photo coming soon).


Caen – First pitch invasion with the table, I think we played the goalie.



Paris – PSG training session: Anelka threw a tantrum and refused to play on the table but good sport French and PSG central defender Dehu did.


Perpignan – Got off the bus for 3 hours


Barcelona – Met second wood
chopper from Bangor, Wales. Interview with Sport Barca (don’t mention Figo), Nou Camp officials on very long lunch so table had to take the official tour.  Failed to hitch a boat to Italy.


San Sebastian – Caught in middle of riot between scary Spanish police and Basque terrorists.  Bit of sun. Sadly saw the departure of Mike.



Bordeaux
– Second pitch invasion, Bordeaux Stadium, apparently Wiltord used to play there.


Marseilles – Still no reply from written request submitted at Olympic Marseilles HQ challenging Frank Le Boeuf to a game on the table.  Third pitch invasion, getting good but table got caught by sprinkler systems.



Rome – Italian FA wouldn’t play but gave me a poster of the under 21’s…hmmm.  Fourth pitch invasion, the Olympic Stadium with the loony French boys who never sleep, Hakim and Michel.  Italian Super Cup Roma 2, Fiorentina 0 suspect that the Romans are a bit happy about winning the Scudetto.



Basel – Meant to be an escape from football, visiting a friend, Hil.  Basel F.C. now managed by, favourite at the Lane, Christian Gross and with a new stadium had to be greeted by the table. Andy the builder and Jan Peterson the stadium manager granted all access from roof, to pitch, to underground VIP carpark. Jan nearly became the table’s first victor with a nail biting 10-9 on the pitch spurred on by his tales of Danish greats.  Hopefully we’ll meet again as he’s working for the Germans in Korea!


Zurich – Had phoned Fifa HQ from Basel requesting a game with Mr. Blatter.  They refused, said that they had a World Cup to organise, or something.  Turned up on their doorstep Monday morning and obviously they couldn’t resist the power of the table.  Good sport that he is Mr. Blatter came down, graced the table and predicted a victory for England in Munich.



Munich – I WAS THERE!  Pitch invasion 3 days before with Middlesborough man Paul Flynn and Aussie Stewart.  Legends Murray, Pete, Seb, John and Andy ensured a day of mayhem which resulted in the table appearing on the front page of the Guardian and being spotted on and interviewed by CNN, ITV, Sky sports, Channel 5, and BBC News 24.  Snuck into England training session and press conferences.  The match itself needs no explanation but I enjoy sharing with you that when I asked a representative of Munich police at their HQ whether the German team would collapse on Saturday he laughed and said “No, no, no I don’t think so”


Vienna – Austrian FA said hello and that they highly enjoyed the Munich result.


Prague – Slavia Prague pitch invasion.  We asked the guy who let us in to say to the camera welcome to the Czech Republic in Czech. So he said “Welcome to the Czech Republic in Czech”. Brilliant.


Krakow – Cold. Left quickly. Met some Irish. They didn’t like football.  I sang “Hey baby” in my sleep….


Warsaw – Colder. Polish FA said “Everything about Polish football is a joke. Everything is really funny apart from the results.”  Rather happy about qualifying for their first world cup in 16 years.


Riga – Bus stopped here, apparently this is where Southhampton’s little man comes from.




Talinn - Got vice pres of Estonian FA on the table and had a kick around on the pitch of their new Wembley as graced by Holland Italy and Ireland. Matt joined the table-tour with instant success. Glad for the company as we venture forward behind the Iron Curtain.

St Petersburg - Far too cold to do anything




Moscow - Went ski jumping with the table. Pitch invasion on Luzhniki Olympic stadium and managed to get press passes for a torpedo Moscow match. Sadly the Russian FA big guns were on holiday and nobody else was authorised to say anything. Several Russian soldiers guarding the Chinese embassy got distracted from duty by the table.

Sochi - 24hrs stuck on the ferry but, in port, we added a ships captain to our list of 'playees'. Table survived its first storm.

Trabzon to Tehran - confined to nonstop bussing but finally found out that Beckham had equalised in 92nd minute to send us to Korea!!!!!!! We'd had to stop watching the match in the 80th minute to catch a ferry...



Tehran - Knocked on door of Iranian FA: press passes for Iran v Iraq! Found ourselves having dinner with the FIFA referees from Korea in their 5 star hotel the night before the game. Spoke with Karimi and Kavianpour (8 and 7) and the president of the FA.

Esfahan - Interview with Esfahan FA president and guest at their under 10s regional top gun school and u21 tournament.



Shiraz - Watched on TV as Iran crumbled to a 3-1 defeat in Bahrain dumping them into the playoffs. Table graced the ruins of Persepolis.


Bam - We could be seen for miles when we set up the table on top of the old mud citadel Fortune of the highest order meeting Swiss relative of FIFA executive on top of ancient mud city deep in what became George Bush’s “Axis of evil” territory.


Tehran - Dashed back when found our passes were valid for the first leg playoff with UAE. Set the table up in Mick McCarthy's hotel's lobby nut missed him. Same ref from Iraq game though appeared so we played him!


Dubai - Flew in to UAE for 2nd leg. UAE F.A. gave us passes no probs.


Abu Dhabi - 2nd leg. Spoke with UAE manager, goalie and more of the Iranian players. McCarthy was there again but refused to play.



Dublin - Complimentary tickets for 1st leg playoff against Ireland. Bumped into Nick Hancock! His friends and Emma helped get Ali Daei, Ali karimi, Mehrdad Minavand and Hamed Kavianpour on the table the day before the game. I got interviewed by Trans World Sport.


Bombay - met and stayed with some tibetan monks. Went to Wankhede stadium - couldn't resist could we?


Bangalore - The England cricket team: Nasser Hussein said no, David Gower
said: "quite frankly I couldn't give a monkeys about football." Elaborate
Indian security amongst the heightened terrorist fears allowed two strangers
minus any type of ticket let alone pass to get through 4 sets of security with a giant purple object. Well done lads.

Kanha (not on map) - the table went on a tiger safari. To say our guide was bemused would be an undersatement. Little brother Malc gave up pursuit of rock stardom to join the tour.

Agra - the food poisoning capital of india (as we discovered). Taj Mahal is awesome, go there, just ignore all the bloody locals. Played some local street kids after getting a boatman to give us a lift across the river to behind the Taj for an awesome sunset.

Varanasi - took the table mid-stream in the lovely clean ganges where dolhins swim alongside dead bodies.

Dharamshala - home of the tibetan government in exile. Managed to get the table inside the home of his holiness the Dalai Lama. Sadly he wasn't present but his general secretary gave us a frank interview about the tibetan situation then a game. There is a wonderful tibetan film called "The Cup" about monks sneaking out to watch the world cup. They love football.

Bodhgaya - got visas for a footy tournament in Bangladesh but their
dodgy FA were suspended by FIFA and the tournament cancelled. So got a train to
calcutta to watch an England cricket one dayer. But managed to get on the wrong train from delhi, got off at Gaya to wait for our train which arrived at 1.40am with all the doors locked and the lazy sodding scum wouldn't get out of their seats to open them! Bitter, bitter moment. So
stayed in Gaya where ten minutes down the road were 200,000 buddhists gathered for the Kalachakra initiation. Police had to
restrain the crowd when we set up the table. Madness. Monks fighting for
a view. One monk turned out to be the cousin of the bhutanese national goalkeeper!



Katmandu - Table made it all the way on my poor back to over 5,000m in the Himalayas and Everest itself. Met an American goalkeeper who was applying to become goalkeeping coach of Bhutan. Small world.

Singapore - Football Asia interviewed Andy and I and followed us round with a film crew for the day. Managed to arrange to get Nick Faldo and Ian Woosnam on the table but Woosnam did badly and went home early in a huff and for once Faldo did well and came second so he had to go to the winners banquet instead!

Malaysia - Hit the headquaters of the Asian Football Federation and got a few people on the table. As usual there was a Brit working there and he was a Spurs fan
so we were happy.
 



Bangkok - Got the table on the National Stadium in the centre of Bangkok and was interviewing a reporter from the Bangkok Post only to be kicked off by some
old guy who thought i was filming a commercial! Met Peter Withe, manager of the Thai national team. Our first ex-england international and he scored the winner in the 1982 European Cup final for Aston Villa
against Bayern-München!

Phnom Penh - Unbelievably helpful, the table met the technical director and the president of the Football Federation. Joined in a training session with the Cambodian national team on a tennis court (no decent
pitches in Phnom Penh) and had great fun reminding the German coach of a certain 5-1 match, which he took very well!



Vietnam - Chairman of Referees Association, FA General Sec, National Stadium invasion. Immensely proud that one of their players beat Beckham and Veron in the Pepsi Skills Challenge a few years back.


Laos - Arrived in time for the Laos New Year. This transforms everybody into 9yr olds. They drive round in the backs of trucks throwing water, flour, berries at everybody else for three days. On New Years day itself we walked straight into (well, over a wall) the National Stadium and had an Anglo-Danish penalty shootout on the pitch (result not mentioned, but we're English - you do the math) watched only by worst security guard in the world, a dog and a man in underpants. Returned the next day, but were thrown out by now-clothed man in underpants. Also, see the sunset shot in the pics section.

China - Shaolin monks and a Great Wall.



Korea (Jeju Island) - SUCCESS. A first hand look at the surprise package
that is the S Korean team in a 1-1 draw with England. No fewer than 4 of the England team on the table, including Owen, famous commentators, ex players and a certain Mr Sven Goran Eriksson. Media attention explodes and all of a sudden everybody wants a piece of us.

Japan - An incredible welcome by the fantastic Japanese, a breathtaking number of Beckham shirts, continued media interest, and more famous people.
Chewed finger nails against Sweden, euphoria against the Argies, afternoon nap against the Nigerians, congas against the Danes, and sheer disbelief against the Brazilians (partly at the disgraceful antics of Rivaldo).


The Final Furlong...

Good old blighty and the small job of putting everything onto paper. Not a bad job, it only took Virgin and Andy 4 years to produce "23 Sweet FAs" and come to terms with parting with the Table which has been put to auction on eBay! All money raised goes to the BBC's Sport Relief campaign.

Somehow, phenomenally, the documentary has still not been aired so the boys have something to keep them occupied and relive the tales of the Table. Any takers for over 70 hours of prime 3 Chip footage should contact us pronto on tablefootball@hotmail.com.

The film aside, the end of the road appears to have been reached. But then that's just the start of a whole new chapter… Thank you to everyone for all the support, the encouragement and the belief. You are all coming on the next one.